By Dr. Rita Renee, The Ultimate PowerHouse Coach
We live in an era when access has become conflated with entitlement.
As business owners, we join associations, networking groups, and professional circles in the hope of connecting with others, expanding our visibility, and growing our businesses. And rightfully so—relationships are at the heart of business.
However, far too often, I’ve watched entrepreneurs show up expecting immediate results—referrals, contracts, and credibility—without first establishing genuine relationships. They believe that simply joining a group entitles them to someone else’s trust. As if paying dues grants them a seat at someone’s business table.
Let me be clear: membership doesn’t equal momentum.
You can’t bypass the connection and expect conversion.
Transactional Thinking Is Killing Authentic Networking
There’s a difference between networking and net-hunting.
Networking is about building relationships—fostering mutual respect, sharing common values, and investing in long-term growth and development. Net-hunting is when someone joins a group, immediately starts pitching, and views every handshake as a lead. It’s predatory. It’s off-putting. And honestly, it’s not sustainable.
Here’s what transactional behavior in groups sounds like:
- “I joined this group, but no one’s sent me any business yet.”
- “I came to two meetings—why hasn’t anyone hired me?”
- “I connected with her, but she didn’t buy from me.”
This mindset reveals a misunderstanding of what networking—and leadership—really is. Relationships take time, trust, and consistency. If your focus is only on what others can give you, you’ll always leave feeling empty.
Relationships First. Business Follows.
People don’t refer to those they don’t trust. And they won’t trust you if they don’t know you.
You must be known, liked, and respected—not just when present in the room, but engaged in the mission. When I mentor women entrepreneurs or lead networking communities, I often say:
“If you want business from the group, you need to bring value to the group.”
That means:
- Show up consistently.
- Learn people’s names.
- Support other members.
- Promote others without expecting a return.
- Listen more than you talk.
If your entire agenda is to “get,” you’ve missed the point. Business is a byproduct of trust—not a benefit of attendance.
How to Shift from Taker to Trusted Partner
Whether you’re in a networking group, chamber, or leadership organization, here are five ways to build genuine relationships that lead to referrals—and results:
- Be a Giver First
Offer value before asking for business. Share resources. Celebrate others online. Recommend someone. This small act says, “I see you, and I support you.”
- Engage Beyond the Meetings
Relationships are built between the meetings. Grab coffee. Send a note. Comment on their content. Your investment outside the room matters just as much as your presence in it.
- Stop Pitching. Start Connecting.
People do business with those they feel a connection to. Instead of leading with your elevator pitch, start with genuine interest. Ask, “How can I support you?” instead of “Here’s what I do.”
- Don’t Rush the Trust Process
Not every connection becomes a client—and that’s okay. Some will become partners, others will be friends, and some will simply be part of the community. All are valuable. Let relationships evolve naturally.
- Stay Consistent, Not Convenient
The most trusted people in any group are those who consistently show up—not just when they want business, but also when they want to build.
The Truth About Group Memberships
Belonging to a networking group is a privilege, not a shortcut. It provides access, but it doesn’t guarantee outcomes. You still have to do the work. You still have to serve. You still have to show up with integrity.
If you view a group as a quick sales funnel, you’ll not only be disappointed—you’ll damage your reputation.
But if you see it as a long-term garden of relationships, you’ll eventually reap a harvest that’s far greater than one contract or one sale. You’ll build a referral ecosystem rooted in mutual trust, and that’s where sustainable business lives.
My Personal Story: From Outsider to Rising Star
When I joined a businesswomen’s organization, I didn’t come in asking for business. I didn’t hand out a stack of cards or pitch myself to everyone in the room. I simply showed up intending to serve—and to ensure the women around me were being poured into with excellence.
Within just 60 days, I went to work—not to build my name, but to help build the mission. I noticed the programming could go deeper, so I quietly stepped in to help curate quality speakers—ones who could pour into women both personally and professionally. Behind the scenes, I offered support, shared resources, promoted others, and stayed consistent.
I never asked for a platform. But by the end of the year, I was honored as the Rising Star of the Year.
Not because I chased recognition—but because I chose contribution.
Not because I demanded business—but because I demonstrated leadership.
That award wasn’t about popularity—it was about purpose. And it taught me something lasting:
When your presence adds value, people remember. When your heart is to serve, opportunities will find you.
True business success starts with character—not contacts.
A Challenge to Business Owners Everywhere
If you’re only showing up to collect, you’re not building—you’re draining. If you’re only present when it’s convenient or beneficial, people will notice. And if your first thought is “How can this group help me?” instead of “How can I help this group?”—you’ll always fall short of true success.
So, here’s my challenge:
Stop treating groups like vending machines.
Start treating them like vineyards.
Because real business growth doesn’t come from grabbing—it comes from growing. And that requires intention, humility, and a commitment to building relationships over time.
About the Author
Dr. Rita Renee is a business strategist, international speaker, author, and the founder of The Ultimate PowerHouse Coach. With over 34 years of leadership experience and a mission to help women step out of the shadows and into authentic influence, she serves as President-Elect of NAWBO Greater Raleigh.
Dr. Rita Renee is an author, international speaker, healthcare leader, and the founder of The Ultimate PowerHouse Coach. With over 34 years of experience in nursing leadership and women’s empowerment, she mentors women to step out of the shadows, own their voices, and lead with conviction. She is a proud wife, mother of four, leader on multiple nonprofit boards, and a leader in women’s ministry.
Dr. Rita Renee | The Ultimate PowerHouse Coach
Speaker • Author • Mentor • Leadership Strategist
Website: www.ultimatepowerhousecoach.com
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