Alla Adam, Lean Startup and VC Coach | Negotiator | Investor | Author | Founder of Alla Adam Coaching.
“When you step into a negotiation, do you feel in control, or are you just reacting to the other person’s demands?” I’m a general partner at a newly formed venture capital fund. asked one of my clients, Isaac. We met in the minimalist office of his office. There, with sculptures by famous artists and walls lined with ambitious goals scrawled in bold marker, it was a fitting backdrop for a man who was always in high gear.
Although Isaac had developed a reputation as a keen strategist, he felt he was reactive in high-stakes negotiations with potential portfolio companies. “I know what we want, but sometimes I feel like I’m just scrambling to respond to what they’re throwing at me,” he explained. Isaac’s problem wasn’t a lack of vision. It was the need for a sharper edge, a strategic framework to keep him in the lead rather than reacting to requests as they came.
While deciphering Isaac’s challenge, I shared three principles that enable Isaac to lead negotiations with confidence and control: strategies any leader can employ to gain the upper hand without fighting.
Principle 1: Strength begins with preparation.
Going into a negotiation without a solid strategy is like embarking on a road trip without a map. And Isaac, like many leaders, sometimes came to the negotiating table without a clear goal in mind. He approached negotiations with a general idea of what the fund wanted, but was so flexible that he often matched others’ terms rather than leading the conversation.
Preparation is more than just gathering facts. It’s about defining what you’re not willing to compromise on and why. Before my next meeting with a startup, I asked Isaac to answer three important questions.
• What is the exact outcome you want? Ambiguity leads to compromises that are detrimental to everyone. Precisely define your ideal outcome.
• Why is your position mutually beneficial? Establish a foundation of reason backed by data and logic.
• What long-term value will your offer create? Show that this particular deal is more than just a transaction, but the first step toward a long-term partnership and future growth.
Armed with these insights, Isaac approached the next round of negotiations with new clarity and felt well-positioned to move the conversation forward on his terms with confidence.
Principle 2: Advantage starts with information
Effective negotiation is never about convincing someone to accept your ideas. It’s about understanding what the other side values and what the alternatives are if the deal doesn’t go through. In venture capital, these elements are essential. The founder’s choice directly impacts how they should approach negotiations, whether accepting multiple term sheets or viewing your fund as a preferred partner.
I advised Isaac to dig deeper into each startup. “What is non-negotiable for them?” I asked. “And what options do they have if they don’t accept this deal?” Understanding each company’s motivations and available alternatives can help you strategically withhold your own alternatives. However, we were able to position our proposal as the most attractive option.
This profound insight changed Isaac’s approach. He was able to lead by understanding how his fund’s proposition aligned with the founder’s objectives, rather than reacting to the founder’s pitch.
Consider your own approach: Do you have a clear understanding of the other party’s interests and alternatives, or are you relying on assumptions?
Principle 3: Influence begins with focus
In any negotiation, the subtle art of focus can make a big difference. Both aim to steer the conversation towards their respective objectives. The key is to position your offer as a natural fit for their needs without overdoing it.
I worked with Isaac to put together a win-win proposal. For example, when presenting terms, he learned to position his terms as win-win, steering the conversation toward a collaborative win while hiding his true influence and alternatives.
Here’s how to get an edge in negotiations
• Align your goals with your priorities. Position your offer as addressing their specific needs.
• Present your offer as better than other options. Don’t reveal everything, but make it clear that your offer is their top choice.
• Communicate alternatives without oversharing. Maintain additional leverage by securing options.
This approach allowed Isaac to easily gain the upper hand. Rather than forcing his agenda, he framed his proposal as a clear, mutually beneficial choice for everyone at the table.
From reactive to strategic
Isaac’s transformation was swift and certain. He went from feeling all over the place and out of control to being calm, strategic, and in command. He found that by thoroughly preparing, understanding the other party’s motivations, and directing the conversation toward a common goal, negotiations no longer feel like a push and pull. These were opportunities to form valuable partnerships on his terms.
The important point for Isaac (name changed to protect confidentiality) was that negotiating from a position of strength doesn’t mean overwhelming your opponent. It’s about being prepared, leading the conversation, and meeting the other person’s needs. This change allowed him to approach every transaction with confidence.
Ask yourself: Are you approaching a negotiation well-informed and with a strategy to guide the conversation, or are you leaving your success to chance?
Call to action: Lead your next negotiation
This is my challenge. Choose one of these principles and apply it to your next negotiation. Whether it’s thorough preparation, understanding the other person’s interests, or guiding the conversation, focus on that, not the “what ifs” and “buts.” Win with value without fighting.
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